Buzzmatics Emotional Marketing

It’s A Service Thang!

Written By: Gary - Feb• 16•12

6 months ago I was in Darwin having a chicken parmigiana for dinner and just enjoying the balmy atmosphere of the road side eatery. Crowds of people were passing by checking out the menu. They were deciding whether to eat here or look for a different cuisine just as I had done not 30 minutes earlier.

But I like Italian! It has flavour and texture and can be served up fairly quickly which is always handy if you are eating alone. And even a small serve can leave you feeling full.

Then to my HORROR, I looked at the chicken meat where I had just eaten from and there was a bright red blotch in the middle of it.

As I sat there mortified I asked myself, “Where is the rest of it?”

I swallowed hard and steeled myself against the powerful, gut wrenching realisation that I had just eaten it!

I suddenly felt feverish. My temperature was rising and I had an uncontrollable urge to convulse. The colour drained from my face and the sweat beads on my forehead were beginning to join and drip from my brow.

Could I have just ingested salmonella?

What should I do? Is this uncooked chicken? What am I facing here? Was this anyone’s fault? My mind was racing and the questions were coming so fast that there was no time for answers. I was becoming irrational.

Take a deep breath I told myself. Breathe in and count to ten. Now breathe out slowly. Calm yourself and call the waitress over.

The waitress looked shocked. She called the manager.

He apologised and offered to get me a freshly cooked meal. As he was turning to take the meal back to the kitchen I stopped him and said, “I’m sorry but I feel sick and I don’t think I could eat anything else.”

He had no idea what to do next.

He asked me what he could do and then offered me a free coffee. Still in shock myself I agreed but wanted to discuss it further. He just wheeled around and paced to the kitchen.

The coffee came some minutes later however it seemed like an eternity as I pondered the possibilities of what I had before me. I felt ill and I couldn’t drink the coffee. I got up and went to the counter to pay and the waitress tried to charge me full price for the meal.

I had only eaten half so I was only prepared to pay half.

I debated the point that I had not been able to finish the meal and whilst I did not think it was anybody’s fault, I felt I should only pay for what I consumed. After all even the manager offered to cook me a fresh meal. Would he have charged me for two?

She called the manager over again.

His attitude had now changed from one of apologetic to antagonistic. He accused me of trying to rip him off. He was loud and vocal and completely unmoved by the fact that he had a room full of other diners.

I was embarrassed for him!

I went to walk from the register and take him aside where we could talk more privately but as I moved he loudly and arrogantly agreed to charge half and then once the transaction was over he all but threw me out of his restaurant!

I needed a tax receipt but obviously now was not the time to ask.

So I wondered how his reaction would affect his business. Could we have mutually discussed the problem and come to a more amiable solution? I was not blaming, I had merely eaten something which reduced my appetite to zip and made me feel squeamish in his restaurant.

He did not want to listen. He could only see a nuisance customer. I really, only wanted to show him what had come out of his kitchen. He stopped short of accusing me of putting the blotch there, but it was written all over his face.

Six months later…

I had occasion to visit Darwin again this week and I decided I would have a walk around and have a look at places to eat.

As I passed his restaurant I saw him sitting inside just near the register. The place was empty except for one couple on a table near the window. Nobody was sitting on the sidewalk tables and the staff were gathered at the bar polishing glasses.

The majority of the tables were still set as though there had been very few in for dinner. It didn’t surprise me at all.

But would he really have considered his attitude to be the cause?

Travelling around the place affords me lots of experiences where service plays out success stories. The customer is not always right but if you are the business owner/manager you need to pick your battles.

How you handle yourself in a dispute can make or break you. You can afford to lose a meal when the lifetime value of your customers is greater than the loss.

All he needed to do was empathise with my plight.

It’s clear to me now what he would have done in my shoes and I doubt he would have shelled out a red cent. He would have simply walked.

I should add that prior to this incident I had visited Darwin nine times and I had eaten at his restaurant five times… but not anymore.

Strangely on at least two occasions he briefly sat and spoke to me about my experience in his place. The first conversation was during the first visit and is what caused me to return.

It cannot be overstated, how you treat people is what you will be judged by.

Look, everyone has an off day and to be fair perhaps I was there on that day. But having experienced his proud, gruff manner previously, it made me think otherwise. And if you are in business, you want to be judged favourably.

Australians in particular don’t tell you what went wrong, they just tell everybody else not to go to your business. So you gotta nip that in the bud or you will become unemployed.

This was a particularly difficult situation and I’m not saying that I was right either, but I am interested in what you think.

Here are a couple of questions:-

As a business owner, how important is it to give good service?
And as a customer, how important is receiving good service?

I look forward to your responses.

Posted in Mindset, Thought of the Day | No Comments »

Do You Know What The Most Read Part Of A Sales Letter Is?

Written By: Gary - Jan• 25•12

When you buy a new book, do you do what everyone else does?

“What’s that?” I hear you ask, well more about that in a moment. First let me give you some background.

Recently I was in the airport waiting for my flight. I had about 45mins to kill so I thought I would wander over to the newsagent and have a look over the book stands. I meandered around looking at covers, picking up books and reading the overviews.

It has always fascinated me the way the story gets condensed into a few succinct paragraphs on the back cover, in such a way that your appetite is whet and a sense of urgency occupies your mind, wanting to know the outcome.

This is a classic form of emotional direct response copy. You read the overview and you’re motivated to buy the book.

You are instinctively (and probably unwillingly) suffering from “openloop-itis”!

You have no option but to push towards closing the open loop and satisfying the knowledge which you crave the answer for.

Copywriters the world over know that you cannot leave a loop open. Your mind simply won’t let you. You pursue the answer at all costs or else it niggles away at you. After all, it’s human nature to need closure.

In fact, even copywriters fall for this and they know what is happening!

As a kid in the school yard I used to have a harmless insult I would throw around from time to time just for a bit of fun.

It went like this: Q. How do you keep a fool in suspense? A. I’ll tell you tomorrow!

Some of the kids were so dumb that they would come to me the next day and ask for the answer!

I would respond by saying, “Despite what everyone else says about you, I think you’re OK”. Man did that pique their paranoia! (Had to let that one out carefully)

Anyway, there were many iterations of this saying but essentially they were all based on a Q&A type open loop. They wanted the answer to close the question in their mind. They could have made up their own answer but they would still wonder what the correct answer was. Ha, always made me laugh (I’m even smiling about it now!)

So, what does everyone do when they buy a new book?

They read a few chapters in and then get impatient and read the ending to see how it turns out. Maybe this is not completely universal but a high percentage of people do and I for one have been guilty of this many times. I assume this is a shared experience?

OK, so let’s look at the anatomy of a sales letter.

Generally a sales letter is laid out to a specific formula. This has evolved over the years through trial and error. Copywriters of the past have constantly tried to beat their own control copy and therefore improve their responses. This tweak and edit process has created the current format.

My copywriting mentor Pete Godfrey suggests the following 10 points however there are variations and all steps should really point to the end game which is to build relationships and sell stuff!

The headline.
The opening.
Bullets.
State the guarantee.
Testimonials.
More bullets.
Make your offer.
Ordering instructions.
The close.
The P.S.

The flow of these points should weave into a highly readable document, kind of like a story only more strategic. However if you are anything like me you will read 3 or 4 points in and then skip to the end to find out what happens.

And what is at the end? The Postscript of course!

Which brings me back to answer the question in the headline!

Not including the headline which of course is paramount to gaining readership, there is an element of a sales letter that is read more than any other part and knowing this can bring you great advantage.

That element is the P.S. That is why sometimes you see multiple P.S.’s in sales letters and emails. The important points are re-iterated here to ensure the message gets through.

Wikipedia reports “A postscript, abbreviated P.S., is writing added after the main body of a letter (or other body of writing). The term comes from the Latin post scriptum, an expression meaning “written after” (which may be interpreted in the sense of “that which comes after the writing”).”

A well written P.S. can cause a fleeting reader to wonder what the content is all about and make them return to the body and read it thoroughly.

It’s a good place to re-state your offer and also a good place to mention your guarantee again as well.

I cannot overstate this point. A “P.S.” can be the difference between failure and success so don’t ignore this space.

And if your readers have my undeniable urge to read the ending before reading the whole story, you could catch those who would have slipped through the cracks!

P.S. I guess I should include a P.S. given that this article is all about them, but there is another tactic (copy click) I used here which is pretty damned obvious and massively useful in getting your reader to continue to read. Can you see what it is? I look forward to your comments.

Posted in Attention Grabbers, Copywriting | 1 Comment »

FEAR. False Evidence Appearing Real!

Written By: Gary - Jan• 17•12

It All Started Over Dinner…

For us this weekend past has been a lesson in mindset. It started out at dinner with friends, both of whom are active in personal development. Every time we get together I feel challenged and little bit stretched (in a good way).

This flowed on to both Sandy and I individually resolving outstanding jobs which have been on the list a long time.

Saturday night we watched a movie called the Green Lantern. The theme of the story was that although we face fear in many areas of our lives, we turn and face them with courage and persistence when we face adversity.

Surely we would be better served if we could draw on this courage without any drama unfolding to prod us into action.

Sunday morning at church we were challenged to address the baggage we carry. Our Pastor spoke about remnants from past situations which only bring us down and hold us back.

It was all very timely.

It has opened our minds to new possibilities. A simple chain of events which individually seem disconnected and yet the theme is almost perfectly aligned.

Have you ever experienced a series of events like this?

You know, making a change is just a decision away. A choice which you commit to and follow through with.

This last weekend made us look at where we are. Perhaps a good thing to be doing at this time of year as we are well into January now and the momentum of the year is building.

Why not have a look at where you’re at. Does it align with where you want to be? If not, check your fears. See the baggage that your fear brings.

Can you cut some of that baggage lose? You’ve got to let it go people. I can assure you it will be liberating.

Change your focus. Alter the attitude that you respond with. Modify the way you react when that same old situation rears its ugly head. Change your tune.

Whistle a new song.

Do you know, it’s impossible to be sad and whistle. “What does that have to do with anything?” I hear you ask!

Well try it! You will soon see that the simple act of whistling can change your whole demeanour.

And that is the point. You decide to whistle and you make a change.

So if making a change is this easy, what other false boundaries are you locked in by?

Posted in Inspirational, Mindset, Thought of the Day | 1 Comment »

Do You Know The Answer?

Written By: Gary - Jan• 04•12

Have You Ever Been Struggling To Reach The End Without Actually Knowing The Beginning? Might Pay To Think That Process Through A Little More Don’t You Think?

What is the answer?

Many times in my life I have talked to people who are looking for the answer. They chase this elusive goal, relentlessly thrashing back and forth like a swimmer caught in a rip.

When they can’t find a solution they usually become bewildered and demoralised, then give up and leave the answer unchallenged and incomplete.

They ultimately end up lost, leaving themselves disillusioned and feeling a sense of total failure.

Know what I mean?

Let me explain; as a copywriter I engage with people all the time who want what I offer. They expect me to pose their question in a way that causes other people interested in their niche to respond emotionally and buy from them.

This means that I need to understand their question and answer it for them in print. Their potential clients read this and find the answer themselves which in turn excites them to action.

Simple, isn’t it!

So how do you find this elusive answer?

Well, it may seem obvious but the answer can only come after the question and to be able to answer the question properly you must understand the question.

You see, the “question” is where the process starts and without it there is no place to launch from or destination to reach.

And without a destination you have no course to follow.

Basically you are aimless.

Even after the question is asked the destination may not be clear, but by diligently researching the question you can find the destination.

Sometimes it is not until you are on the journey that the destination clearly presents itself.

Knowing the destination allows you to set a course to follow.

This course will have pitfalls and trials along the way which enrich you and give you strength to continue.

Sometimes the challenge can be large which blurs your focus but overcoming the challenge will bring the destination back into view and the focus will return.

So if you don’t know the answer, you most likely don’t know the question.

If you believe you do know the question and still don’t know the answer you need to gain more knowledge and understanding.

Once you have this knowledge and understanding you can easily answer the question because your clarity is beyond challenge.

So study my friends.

Pursue the ultimate height of authority in the subject related to your question. Only when you live and breathe all aspects of your question will you be granted authority.

By gaining this authority you position yourself as expert and naturally command respect. This respect does not come by demanding it but by simply giving your valuable knowledge and understanding to those who seek it.

When you speak their language and educate them you reach them from a place of teaching.

You transform them into willing students and deliver what they are looking for.

From here you can build relationships and eventually once you have built enough trust you can sell stuff.

So to summarise;

Fully understand your subject.
Give valuable knowledge freely.
Nurture your tribe and build trust.
Offer them high perceived value.

(High perceived value takes their eye off the price and helps reduce objections. More on this in another post.)

The answer becomes clear once you experience full immersion in the subject surrounding your question and the empowerment of gaining this experience brings you confidence.

Confidence with authenticity is absolutely magnetic. Wouldn’t YOU want to position yourself in a place like this?

Posted in Copywriting, Mindset | No Comments »

Me, Myself and I. What’s The Go With That?

Written By: Gary - Dec• 06•11

Do You Really Expect Me To Listen To You Blow Your Own Trumpet Continuously And Then Think I Will Dive Into My Pocket And Pay You For The Experience?

Hi there and thanks for joining me today. I have been wanting to look at the way many website owners give no thought to connecting with their reader and so today I am airing my thoughts.

There is this part of me that reads the content of the websites I visit looking for connection. I guess that is just the copywriter in me but I look for the point of view which makes me want to keep reading. Sadly most website owners just don’t get this.

They seem to be caught up in some technical reference to this, that and the other thing and their copy is all me, me, me! I get to the point where I just switch off.

Do You Feel This Way Too? Why Don’t They Get It?

It’s not about the thing! It’s not about your blinkered view of the world! It’s about your visitor! Your potential customer! The very person you want to catch when they arrive from their google search.

You have got to write to them… not about you.

Your copy should be benefit filled and teasing them with what they will feel when they own what you are peddling.

Talk with them in an entertaining way and make them feel warm and fuzzy; give them something to laugh at even. You have got to give them a reason to keep reading because if you don’t, they’re gone!

So today I am going out on a limb and posting some deeper content that will probably seem obvious once you read through it.

Here’s a neat little trick to try.

Check over what you have written for the words “I” and “we”. Read these sentences out to yourself aloud and think…

Think of a way to say the same thing but using the words “you” and “your”.

This will turn the focus to the reader. It will appear that you are talking to them personally. You will connect with them and give them a sense of conversation.

You could even weave a story around the use of your product and speak in such a way that your visitor can imagine themselves as the person in the story.

OK, you’ve most likely heard that one before, but what about this idea below?

Here is another little tip which helps bring the benefits home.

Bring the tense of your writing into the present and give the reader the feeling that they are already using your stuff.

A simple way to do this is to remove the word “will” wherever you can. This takes your content from future to present. Instead of saying your “widget will do…” say your “widget does…” Or “You will get…” to “You get…”

This is a classic way of bringing the tense of your writing into the now!

“I will give you another example” translates to “Here is another example”. See how immediate the second sentence is.

This may seem like semantics but the psychology of the sale is very subtle. When you go into a shop to purchase, the assistant knows that if you can see yourself using the item you are more inclined to buy. That is why they encourage you to try on a piece of clothing or test drive a car. It allows you to connect with the look and feel.

You can do the same in your writing if you bring the tense into the present.

The reader’s mind does not easily distinguish between reality and strong visual images. By painting a picture in their mind that makes them feel like they are already enjoying your product or service, you cause them to sell themselves.

The imagined becomes reality and you get the reader actively pursuing the feeling.

Of course this sounds rather simple but in reality you pretty much need to write what you want to say, basically downloading it from your brain to paper or your PC. Better to capture your thoughts than to be worrying about certain words.

Once you have your thoughts down however, just go and rework the content to bring it conversationally into the now.

Try it out. The change to your content will amaze you.

Ooops! The changes this makes to your content is amazing!

“Whew! That took some thinking!”

I’m interested in your thoughts and experiences on this so don’t be shy.

Posted in Copywriting | No Comments »

Can Anyone Tell Me How You Trust A Mentor Who Actively Believes And Promotes “Fake It Til You Make It” When All This Really Says Is They Are Still Faking It?

Written By: Gary - Nov• 28•11

When I was 16 I was indentured as an Apprentice Electrical Fitter and Armature Winder. I spent my days learning the craft, rewinding motors and changing bearings. 4 years later I was licensed and qualified and then went out into the big wide world to begin my career.

The first thing that happened was I was dismissed as being a novice and could not command any respect. I had the ticket to prove my knowledge but no experience outside the shelter of my apprenticeship. Essentially I was considered to be fresh from the nursery!

It was a further 5 years and a change of employment before I was taken as a serious contender for reliable input. So this raises a question which I want to put to you.

If You Found Out That Your Dentist Or Doctor Was Faking It Til They Made It, Would You Still Go For Treatment?

Look, perhaps I’m in a funny mood but I make no bones about this. I don’t subscribe to the whole “Fake it til you make it” thing. I think if you have something of value to share you should stand on what you believe and promote it. This is because if you believe it then you have already made it. From this point you are simply building a body of experience.

You see if you are anything like me you will have a well tuned bullshit detector. When someone tries to sell you on something you will notice their body language (maybe even subconsciously) and decide to test them. The test is designed to flush out the depth of their knowledge and see if they are for real.

So If The Entrepreneurs Of This World Are Right Then Why Is Faking It Til You Make It The Long And Winding Road Most Travelled?

Let me just say, there is no point of difference in doing what everyone else is doing. You either believe in what you do or you are in the wrong industry/niche and need to take a long hard look at yourself to find out who you are!

There is absolutely no sense in faking it and trying to be somebody else. Most people see straight through the veneer and dismiss your attempts. Much better to be true to yourself.

So How Can You Be Authoritative In Your Field When You Only Have Limited Experience?

It is said that “testimonials are the most powerful form of credibility” but I suggest they are not the only way to show that you are authentic. By providing evidence of your truth through facts, statistics and strategically insightful stories you connect with your audience in a way that elevates your position.

It promotes your knowledge and provides important information to your marketplace. This also separates you from the pack and gives you the point of difference you need. Essentially they buy into your passion.

From where I stand there is absolutely no need to fake it. Just be yourself and promote your truth. If you study your subject and have a solid understanding, by referencing your facts and statistics you will build authenticity by default.

As a consequence you will present with confidence and truth. And let me tell you, nothing draws a crowd like confidence and truth!

And if you teach your truth, you will be naturally believable. This is where your authority and authenticity comes from. As time passes, your experience builds. Just as an Apprentice learns his craft, so will you and from your body of experience testimonials will begin to emerge.

Don’t be fooled, everybody dreams of the big payday but nobody is an overnight sensation.

So stop faking it! Even the bible states “I believe, therefore I speak”. Have faith in yourself, become expert in your knowledge and never stop educating yourself.

And if you suspect that your mentor is leading you astray, contact me and I will connect you with the genuine article. In any case don’t just fall for the first shiny object. Be sure you are being mentored by someone who has done the hard yards and is authentic.

As the saying goes, “You have got to stand for something or you will fall for anything”!

Posted in Inspirational, Mindset | 2 Comments »

How An Animated Woman Firing Thoughts Like A Machine Gun Down The Telephone Showed Me The Power Of Emotional Direct Response Copywriting.

Written By: Gary - Nov• 23•11

November 23rd 2011.

It’s a sultry Wednesday afternoon here and there has been a storm brewing for hours. The heaviness of the humidity is sapping the life out of me and I feel like climbing into the hammock and having a snooze. However there is a thought nagging away in the corner of my mind and I need to purge it so that I can relax.

You see a few hours ago I got a phone call from my wife. She was all wound up with excitement about a new smart phone app. In her enthusiasm to tell me all about it she had forgotten the title of it or perhaps she never actually knew it, but that was beside the point.

The point was she really wanted to tell me about it.

I got to thinking about how she communicated her thoughts and even though she was on the phone I could tell she was quite animated. Her words were coming out rapid fire and I don’t think she even drew a breath. Her excitement was permeating the atmosphere even though I was 20km away.

It was then that I realised there is a great parallel here to writing Emotional Direct Response copy.

You see the advantage of a verbal conversation is that by using tonal inflections in your voice you can convey a huge amount of emotion even before you select the words to use.

This is where using the written word often falls down. Copywriters know how to avoid this and it is most likely this magic skill that propels them to be so sought after.

Words placed in the correct sequence with power and poise command interaction and draw the reader into the story. It is a craft that can be learned and is what a copywriter hones to perfection.

Connecting with your audience is a tricky and obstacle filled path. You need to reach the listener/reader with absolute clarity, merging your thoughts with theirs and conjuring up ideas in their minds as if they thought of them. This is typically referred to as entering the conversation already happening inside their head.

Once you have grabbed their attention, you carry them along on the journey leading them to the conclusion they have already made and confirming their thoughts as you lead. Because you know their desires you are simply filling in the gaps, bringing them to the point they wanted to reach but giving them a short cut.

They are feeling great. You are solving their problems and giving them license to go ahead. All they can do is follow. Each step just answers another objection which empowers them even more. Every word is infused with meaning and tweaks their interest a little more than the last.

The ultimate goal here is to provide them with enough reasons to buy that they can’t help themselves.

My wife was at this point when she phoned me and the deal was done before I had any interaction at all. What a great deal it was too and how proud was I when she showed me all the possibilities. Oops I digressed, more on that in another post.

So here’s the thing.

If you are a student of Emotional Direct Response copywriting I know you see what I am getting at here but if you’re not, you would do well to inform yourself of this style of communication. It is useful in so many areas and done correctly can spice the motivation to fever pitch.

There is no other more important investment a business owner can do for their business than become aware of and practice the art known as Emotional Direct Response. You will nail more sales and actually underwrite your own fortune.

Here’s a couple of free tips.

Request the contact details (ie. Name, Address, Phone and Email) of every person who buys from you and keep these details for further marketing campaigns. You can use your writing skills to build the relationship and strengthen the reasons why they should return to you and buy again.
People who have purchased from you in the past already have a level of trust in you. This credibility provides you with an opportunity to gather testimonials. And nothing improves credibility like references from people who like you.

There are two fundamental rules that will build your business without exception:-

The money is in the list.
There is absolutely no substitute for marketing.

Posted in Thought of the Day | 10 Comments »

The Simple Rule That Could Heal The World.

Written By: Gary - Nov• 16•11

Parenting 101 And The Untold Secret About Hugs.

Sandy and I have been spending a few days on the Gold Coast at Mal Emery’s StreetSmart Business School. This has exposed us to a sensational line up of very clever and knowledgeable people.

There is however a common thread through all their presentations, which to marketing people is perhaps not surprising. This common thread is Emotional Direct Response copy.

This type of copy is used in all sorts of mediums to enlist an emotional response from the prospect and move them to a specific outcome.

During a discussion with one of the conference guests Sandy asked me to explain the Hug Rule! After wrestling with my own emotions I successfully managed to explain it.

It goes like this:-

We humans are seething balls of emotions and as such respond to things based on feelings. As parents we need to recognise this and always act in a supportive and affirming way towards our children.

One of the ways we convey to our kids that everything is OK is to give them a hug. But the way we should hug is never actually taught to us and so we simply give different and potentially damaging hugs dependant on what we experienced from our parents.

Some people have good memories attached to hugs while others have bad. Still others are indifferent and attach no importance to a hug at all.

So, let me say for the record.

Hugs are the single most important act of affection a parent can offer their child and you should never underestimate the healing properties of a hug. When our kids are hurting from either physical or emotional pain a simple hug eases things immeasurably.

A child comes into our lives without instructions and so in an effort to aid those who have not yet worked it out, hug your kids. Tell them they are OK and that you love them no matter what! The importance of this cannot ever be overstated.

The Hug Rule!

This is a hard and fast rule that few know or understand. It is simple to implement and can completely restore broken little people and in truth we don’t ever actually out grow it.

Here is the process:-

Offer the hug or accept the hug as the case may be.
From here you must not let go.
You as a parent are not permitted to break the hug.
Only the child can break the hug. Only they know when the restoration is complete.
The hug lasts as long as the child wants and there are no exceptions.

Now that you know the process you have no excuse. It is also now incumbent on you to inform other parents. This is not a command but rather information for parenting.

This rule was initially applied between Fathers and Daughters but I don’t believe it should be limited. It applies between parents and children regardless of gender.

This is a rule I learnt way too late in my career as a parent and I am actually saddened by this. However my girls all know the rule now and they know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will never let go before them.

The challenge for you is now to carry on the knowledge and by doing so, heal future generations.

Together we can make this a better world.

Posted in Inspirational | 2 Comments »

The Importance Of Wisdom.

Written By: Gary - Nov• 10•11

You have heard it said:

“You don’t have to be the best you just have to be perceived as the best”.

Well similarly if you want to be seen to be wise there are a few things which will help create the illusion and set you in good stead.

Hopefully today you will indulge me a little as I share a bit of my life’s experience with you.

My grandfather on my mother’s side was a very talented yet strong willed and determined man. He was a teacher for many years and spent time as a principal as well. He eventually held a senior position in the Victorian education department until he retired and moved to the sunshine coast.

I remember him as a gruff old fashioned man who ruled with an iron fist. I respected him out of fear more than anything which I later found out was not really a quality of wisdom. Never the less he was one of my first role models in the wisdom stakes.

He taught me that if you crossed the line you would have to pay the consequences and you were far better off not crossing the line. As a child I always wondered who set the rules and what was over the other side of this “line” anyway?

Having served his three score and ten, he passed away at the age of seventy. I was fourteen at the time but he left me with a legacy which to some degree I still carry to this day. That legacy was his funny old fashioned saying:-

“Better to keep your mouth shut and appear wise than to open it and remove all doubt!”

I began to see that those deemed to be wise were often the ones who were reserved with their comments. Their silence was tempered with consideration and deep thought and when they spoke it was usually after having weighed up all the possibilities.

I decided that I should hold my tongue and be careful not to be too quick to speak. It seemed that this would be to my advantage in the midst of the debate.

Let me tell you, easier said than done.

Turns out that being logical, analytical and coming from a long line of incessant talkers spoiled the appearance of wisdom for me. And having been blessed with a quick wit which was not always funny (read somewhat boring and bordering on politically incorrect) really put paid to the whole wisdom thing.

The best I could do was wait until all the information had been delivered before venturing an opinion.

“Ahh… The ancient art of listening! So is that the trick?”

I developed a stance that would later cause me to dis-assemble the anatomy of wisdom. A skill that even though you may not be the all knowing oracle positions you as one to be listened to.

What is that skill?

Lean in a little closer and I’ll tell you. Closer now, come on.

OK, let me tell you another little story to illustrate this.

My father was a carpenter and a dam good one. He was a very respectful man and if he had any aggression at all he would vent it while playing sport. He was a gifted footballer and a very valuable member of his local club.

To my grandfather however, my father was a thorn. He wanted him to go away and leave his daughter alone. However perseverance and respect paid off and they married despite my grandfathers ideals.

Over time my father was able to make his talents and abilities useful to his father in law. He eventually became respected himself and in later years was deemed to be dependable. A feat my father marvelled over.

I saw in him the mark of wisdom in terms of his relationship with my grandfather. He was willing and yet patient. Capable of holding his own but yielding when the occasion called for it. He never pushed his view but rather countered the view of others with alternatives. Often times bringing some balance to what appeared to be a very biased discussion.

I learned to appreciate the experience of others through what my father had displayed. Even though my experience was different, it did not mean it was right. Believe me I have fallen on this sword many times, and each time I get up wiser carrying the scars as sobering reminders.

So what does this story tell us about the appearance of wisdom?

Well, if you wish to appear wise then you need to back it up with consistent and decisive action. This action will determine how believable you are. After all, actions speak louder than words.

Here are seven wise points to consider.

Become a good listener.
Consider the information as completely as you can before you speak.
Always be willing but never pushy.
Display strength but don’t be self righteous.
Opinions are neither right nor wrong, they are just opinions.
Humour has its place as much as it has timing.
Always be open to change, this is how wisdom grows.

This is not a definitive list. In truth wisdom is a gift bestowed on few in their younger years because it normally grows with experience and age.

But those who have been blessed with wisdom at a young age are destined for greatness.

Posted in Mindset | 3 Comments »

Lessons From Mal Emery’s Front Door.

Written By: Gary - Nov• 03•11

The ridiculous notion that a sealed door complete with glue in the lock is good for business.

A few weekends ago I was privileged to be in the audience while Mal Emery, one of Australia’s most notorious Entrepreneurs (yes, a real serial offender) took to the stage and presented a fascinating look at business in the light of trust. He gave a pile of evidence to support his view and then made an astounding comment.

It went something like this:-

“In our fore father’s day a man’s honour and integrity was his guarantee. Essentially his word stood when it came to a business agreement and they merely shook hands and the deal was solid. Business is sadly lacking in this area these days and I believe its high time trust was re-introduced to restore the faith of the agreement”.

I was deeply moved!

I stood internally applauding his statement. My heart was pounding. I wanted to rush up and hug him. Don’t worry, I caught myself beginning to move from my seat and controlled the urge.

But why had this struck such a chord?

He went on to explain a few other points as well but since that initial statement, I found myself magnetically glued to his every word.

And then he came out with what seemed to be another incongruence of business.

He said, “Don’t try to waltz into my office and request my services. I am very careful and deliberate about the clients I choose. I only work with those I want to work with and unless they pass my scrutiny I avoid engaging in business with them. It doesn’t matter how much money they are offering! If you happen to come to my office in Perth without an appointment you’ll find the front door sealed, glue in the lock and a sign that warns to beware of the dog!”

I sat there dumb founded!

What on earth was he trying to convey?

Is this some sneaky psychological tactic that was designed to peak the very last nuance of desire out of us, the audience?

Well, perhaps it was!

It is human nature to want what we can’t have and Mal had set the bar extremely high. He was ensuring that his basic client was able to pay what he had determined he was worth and was filtering out those who were dreamers from the actual wealth creators who wanted to increase their position.

He knew that he could improve just about anybodies lot with his strategies but he only wanted to work with those who could make it worth his while. It’s positioning. Placing yourself in the market and knowing the boundaries of your niche. It’s about exclusivity.

I must say I admired the way Mal believed in himself. It really didn’t matter what others thought of him, in terms of business (and that is what we were all there to learn about) he had the runs on the board and no one could dispute it.

He had perfected it down to an art form. It was a classic take away sell!

So, I went home with Mal’s words ringing in my ears. I thought to myself, how would I go about setting myself on an authority seat. A position where those who wanted my skills would be happy to pay whatever I asked, because they knew that the end result was quality. The point where I didn’t care about the detractors. That place where I was so confident in my own ability that I simply performed to excel.

I now realise I want what Mal is selling. Not the product or the service, but the stance and position. To be the one at the top of the mountain. Not an oracle as such but the expert who is reliable and whose results are bankable.

It all comes back to mindset in the end.

I learned that no matter what, Mal was being true to himself. His persona was larger than his personality in some ways but then that is what he set out to build, knowing full well that with his understanding of business there were few to question his ways.

I am now actively looking for ways to hone my skills in take away selling. It is a powerfully motivating tactic. One that I am going to study with monotonous repetition until I master it.

And if you are like me you will feel the urgency of time rushing past and the need to capitalise on it as much as possible. This urgency somehow polarises things and galvanises you to action.

I have entered a new phase of my life. It’s time for me to shine for my new found talents. My old ways have begun to fade and the new me is emerging like a butterfly from the cocoon.

Gosh I can be eloquent!

But then it’s all in the name of self discovery.

I’m not talking about some touchy feely naval gazing, I’m talking about the realisation that change brings growth. The kind of growth that causes attraction to those you meet.

There is a quiet confidence that brings people to you like a moth to a flame. It is only when you gather this kind of confidence that you can even aspire to be the goto guy.

Here’s the thing.

Are you open to alternative points of view?
Do you consider the experience of others as something you can learn from?
Can you see that although you have a lifetime of experience at your disposal, you don’t have all the answers?

If you answered yes to these three questions you could well be at the same point of emergence as I am.

If so, let’s follow Mal’s lead and put some trust back into the way business is done. Let’s build a culture of decency and integrity. This movement could well revolutionise the current business landscape and may bring untold riches simply through unique positioning. And if we position ourselves well, we get to choose just like Mal does.

“After all, the successful ones are usually those going against the crowd. Because the masses are usually dead wrong.” – Mal Emery

Posted in Mindset | 2 Comments »

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